


Legal Interpretation

by Daegaer



Series: Pretend to be Human [15]
Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Androids, Friendship, M/M, Monks, Youkai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23444005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: Robot!AU. Forkirathaune's prompt ofglitch.
Relationships: Cho Hakkai/Sha Gojyo
Series: Pretend to be Human [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1152416
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Legal Interpretation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kirathaune](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirathaune/gifts).



> Robot!AU. For [](https://kirathaune.dreamwidth.org/profile)[kirathaune](https://kirathaune.dreamwidth.org/)'s prompt of _glitch_.

The trouble with kids, Gojyo thought, was that they turned into little shits at some point for reasons he didn't understand. Something to do with their programming, some failure in their wiring, or just the fact that humans were all, deep down, bastards. Little kids were just fine. They might be annoying and make a trusting android overbalance by standing too close behind him when he wasn't looking, or they might play an unfathomable hiding game for so long that they made some innocent security android's positronic brain nearly carve out new fucking pathways out of sheer fucking worry, or they might sustain a completely minor injury that any android of any designation could see was merely of cosmetic import and no actual danger, and yet still hold up the offending hand and demand that some unlucky android kiss it better so that he would be mocked unceasingly by every other security android in the entire monastery for a whole fucking _week_ , but still – little kids were fine. They weren't malicious. Once they hit the teenage years, though - It was like someone threw a switch. From _cute puppybot_ to _killing machine_ , or whatever the plot was of Goku's current pulp novel.

"Why are you covered in mud?" Sanzo asked, not moving from where he lay on the bed. "Tell Goku, 'cos I don't give a shit. And wipe off the shit. You both stink." He turned over and stared at the wall like it held the secret of enlightenment.

Goku put the book down. It was definitely a novel, Gojyo saw, hidden inside the cover of his classical poetry textbook.

"You do smell pretty bad," he said, staring at them with wide eyes.

" _Some local youths made anti-android remarks,_ " Hakkai said calmly, somehow dripping noxious liquids only onto the stone floor. Gojyo had already dripped onto the rug and Goku's backpack. " _They illustrated their views with literal filth, Master Goku._ "

"That's so rude! You should let assholes like that really have it, next time you see them! You should kick their asses!"

Goku sounded genuinely outraged. He wasn't like other teenage boys, Gojyo thought. Not usually. He felt the constraints against harming humans loosen, and imagined administering a good kick to the ass of the kid who'd been most imaginative in his views on what Hakkai probably liked security androids to do to him.

" _Language, Master Goku_."

"No!"

Sanzo was off his bed and glaring at Goku, who gaped at him in astonishment, his book forgotten on the floor.

"You don't give them that sort of order. You two: disregard Goku's last command."

" _Sir_ ," Hakkai said, bowing.

" _Sir_ ," Gojyo echoed. He didn't see why Sanzo had to yell at the kid. It was refreshing to have a human want to stick up for him.

"Fuck's sake, Goku," Sanzo said. "You can't go around giving androids with combat programming open-ended commands like that in, in –" He gestured in frustration. " – my bedroom!"

"I'm sorry," Goku said, his face scarlet.

"It's fine," Sanzo muttered, his eyes on Hakkai's pleasant, polite expression. He picked up the fallen book, read a few lines, rolled his eyes and handed it back without a word. "Come on. I want some tea. You can have some of those fruit buns."

"Great! I mean, are you OK, guys?"

" _Yes, Master Goku._ "

"They're fine. Clean yourselves up. You're repulsive," Sanzo said, but with no real venom in his tone, his face tired and young.

" _Yes, sir._ "

" _Sir._ "

Gojyo watched his _beloved_ Master tow Goku out of the room. Asshole, he thought. What he wouldn't give to be able to dole out a well-earned kick in the ass _there_. In another life the bastard would probably have been in the mocking group of boys.

" _So. Much. For. Dealing. Out. Justice,_ " he said, stripping off his filthy shirt.

" _Indeed, Gojyo,_ " Hakkai said, carefully pouring some water into the overly floral wash bowl and unwrapping the complimentary soap. " _Of course, one could argue that Master Goku's last command was given yesterday evening at dinner when he had you bring him another helping of dessert. Just now he quite clearly used the subjunctive; that's more of a – suggestion, wouldn't you say?_ " His smile was innocent and really quite beautiful. " _No one has ever told us to disregard suggestions._ "

" _No -_ " Gojyo said. " _But. See -_ " Hakkai determinedly washed the rest of the sentence away from him with suds and a human-soft flannel. " _Seriously. Hakkai. There. Are. Things. You. Don't. Joke. About._ "

" _Joke? I'm merely saying that we were ordered to disregard the last order, which was given last night, and of course, I immediately obey. What we heard just now was merely a hypothetical situation, a thought experiment of Master Goku's in which he_ suggests _a mode of action for such encounters. Although saying that, good androids of course take their masters' suggestions as orders_ ," Hakkai said. " _And we also have a standing order to obey Goku as if he were Sanzo. So we do not have to disregard it, we must in fact follow it to the letter - Gojyo – Gojyo, don't seize up!_ "

" _I'm. OK_ ," Gojyo said, his voice faint.

It was pedantic nitpicking. It was all down to word choices. But what were he and Hakkai, if not creatures formed of lines of careful choices of code and wording? He thought again of kicking Sanzo, hard, in the ass. His failsafes barely chirped in discomfort. He closed his eyes and recited the Three Laws.

He thought he might be very far from OK.

**Author's Note:**

> Asimov's _Three Laws of Robotics_ are of course:
> 
> A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.  
>  A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.  
>  A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
> 
> I suspect that Hakkai is a magnificent rules lawyer . . .  
> 


End file.
